Stranger Danger

I've got this weird fettish with looking at old pictures during my free time. And most of the time they'll be old pictures of Ryan and I, you know, just to keep the memory alive. It's been a while since I've done this, and as I was looking through pictures tonight, comparing and contrasting the 'todays' with 'yesterdays', I was blown away. We both look so different. I fell in love with a boy who has turned into a man before my very eyes. 

My memories of him are of us as kids. 

But we're not kids anymore. 

It's good that he's different. It's good that I'm different....really, truly, things are really good in every regard. We are both happy and doing well but sometimes it catches me off guard how much time really has passed, how little time is left, and how much we have to catch up on. It's weird to be leading two very separate lives. 

I miss him tonight. 

I don't remember what it's like to have him close. 

I don't remember what it's like to be a 'we'. 

I don't even remember how he smells. 

But I do remember how he used to, and still calls me sweets. 

I remember that he makes me laugh harder than most people, 

even through an email. 

I remember that he likes to hold my hand,

and will rub my feet without asking.  

Most importantly though, 

I remember how much I love him. 

So I guess what more do I need?