"Always do what you're afraid to do"- Emerson

"God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you to not only face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future-to LOVE it and REJOICE in it and DELIGHT in your opportunities. God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe." -Jeffrey R. Holland

***

It's amazing how many times that quote has helped me in my life....but dang, does it ever apply to me now. 

India is in 55 days, and R comes back in 98. 

I thought I would be thrilled? But the closer I get and the better things get with R, the more fear that sets in. Literally, everything I have ever wanted is right in front of me. 

I'm just afraid that for some reason, it will pass me by. 

It's ridiculous, really. And I can recognize who that fear comes from. 

But it's real & it's shaken me up a bit. 

This quote brings me back to reality....brings me back to the fact that all I do anymore is dream about those sweet brown eyes of the Indian children, and coming home to my sweet blue eyed boy to finally be able to love him the way I've wanted to for 3 looong years. 

It's crazy close. I can smell it. And I'm overwhelmed.