Sundays

I love Sundays at home in Missouri.

I love waking up slowly.
Reading the big fat Sunday paper.
Taking a bubble bath and curling my hair.
Getting dressed up.
Driving through country roads to get to church.
I love every second of it.

--

I go to church at the ward (or building) that Ryan and I would go to together when we were home.

It's called 'The Singles Ward' and it's for all non-married people 18-30 years old.

--

I loved going to church with Ryan. I loved getting there first (he was always late).
I loved saving 'us' a seat.
I loved seeing his face light up when he saw me.
I loved the way he smelled (he finally took his weekly shower).

I loved it when he would sit down, put his arm around me and whisper "Sorry I'm late, there was a lot of traffic." Yeah, traffic. In the country.

--

It's hard for me to come home and go to church up there without him. I miss Mr. Ryan extra doses when I walk into church and find a seat for one.

But I still love Sundays.
I love the spirit about it. I love how everything seems more peaceful, more beautiful, more bright.
I love creepily watching the blonde-headed couple sitting 2 rows ahead of me. They are so cute and so in love.
His hand on her leg, her head on his shoulder.

I tilt my head and say a silent prayer to help me be strong.
And that's why I love Sundays, because God talks to me extra.
God puts His arms around me and helps me feel peace about the whole situation.
He reminds me to be grateful that Ryan is out there growing and learning. That I'm back home growing and learning. He reminds me that all is well.

--

I love sitting by Ryan in church.

I love standing by him in life.